Have a Plan For Affair Recovery

In my experience with mentoring and coaching people over the years, it’s very evident that most are approaching affair recovery by the seat of their pants.

When a couple experiences infidelity, it is typically a very difficult and painful time. It can be hard to know what to do or how to move forward.

Some couples may choose to "fly by the seat of their pants" and try to figure things out as they go along. However, this approach can often lead to more pain and confusion. Trust me on this, because it’s what Linda and I did.

In my opinion, a better approach is to develop a plan for recovery. This plan should be specific to the couple's individual needs and circumstances and should include things like:

• A timeline for recovery. It is important to remember that recovery from infidelity takes time. There is no quick fix.

• A list of goals. What do you want to achieve in your recovery? Do you want to reconcile with your partner? Do you want to end the relationship?

• A list of steps to take. What steps do you need to take to achieve your goals? This might include things like:

  • Seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide support and guidance as you work through this difficult time.

  • Communicating with your partner. It is important to be able to communicate effectively about what happened and how you are feeling. This can be difficult, but it is essential for moving forward.

  • Making decisions about your future. Infidelity can raise a lot of questions about the future of your relationship. It is important to take some time to think about what you want and what is best for you.

Having a plan for recovery can help you to feel more in control and make the process of healing a little bit easier.

That said, I recently put together a plan for a coaching client which you can check out here (PDF download): Sample Action Plan

It’s a sample plan for daily, weekly and monthly actions, and may help you with a framework for creating something similar based on your situation. It also includes some daily recovery reminders, as well as a list of affirmations/mantras, if you’re interested in that.

If you are struggling to cope with infidelity, please reach out for help. There are many resources available to you, and you don't have to go through this alone.

One resource that has helped hundreds of unfaithful men and women over the years is The Unfaithful Person's Guide to Helping Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair

I Wish I Would Have Known That! – 7 Crucial Things Wayward Spouses Need to Know

By Doug

We all make mistakes along our affair recovery journeys, but it sure seems as though the unfaithful spouse is the person making the lion’s share of them.

I made my share of them for sure, and I mentor with people all the time who communicate to me the mistakes they and their spouse have made after infidelity. Usually these mistakes aren’t made on purpose or out of spite, as there is a healthy dose of ignorance and the placing of one’s head in the sand that occurs.

That said, here are a few things wayward spouses need to know – or wish they would have known – after their affair was discovered. (I sure wish I would have known these things!)

Continue reading…

From the World of Self-Improvement

Relationships

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Take care!

Linda & Doug

Emotional Affair Journey

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